New Year's Eve

My New Year's Eve was partly fun and partly stressful. I got to go out on the Thames to see this really amazing fireworks display, but the events that followed the display put this story squarely in the "misadventures" column. It's one of those stories that was really not fun while it was happening, but now that it's over, I can look back on it and share it as just one of those stories that makes a good conversation. The fireworks were amazing. Pretty much a good fifteen minutes' worth of huge, over-the-top, amazing fireworks that were just crazy awesome. We love fireworks in my family, so I've definitely seen my fair share, but this was the first time I'd ever been to a major, professionally-planned display. And it was fabulous.



Before I start the more problematic portion of the story, a little sidebar. People who have known me since I was a little kid or readers who don't know me personally may not know this, but I'm pretty introverted. I wouldn't say I'm shy, exactly. If I've known you forever and I'm comfortable around you, I'm generally pretty chatty. I also tend to be much less shy around people older than I am. I think it probably comes from growing up in a church with a lot more older people than under-30s. I can strike up a conversation pretty easily with someone around my parents' age; I struggle a bit when I try to make a connection with someone closer to my own age. It's weird, I know, but I've been like that for as long as I can remember. My idea of a fun weekend generally involves pretty low-key things like curling up on the couch with a book (or two or three) or chilling out with a friend just one-on-one. High-energy situations where there are a lot of people talking or dancing etc are not only uncomfortable for me, but they actually distress me physically. I'm not talking about a little stress, like you might feel on a first date or when you're running late. I'm talking about the serious, final-exams sort of stress. And this happens to me pretty much anytime I'm part of a large group (for me, that's about 6 or more people in a low-medium energy environment, 4 or more people in a high-energy environment) with lots of things going on at the same time. For the most part, the 4-6 people guideline refers to a situation in which I'm out with 4-6 people that I don't know really well or with whom I'm not yet completely comfortable. I am the definition of an introvert: a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. I've tried to spell this out as best I can, because I don't know many people who are as introverted as I am, and it would be difficult for you to understand the story I'm about to tell unless you have some semblance of an understanding of my personality.

When I started to think about what I wanted to do for New Year's here in London, the first thing that came to mind was this huge fireworks display. I wanted to do it for a number of reasons, but the most important were that it was totally free and I just love fireworks. It never ceases to amaze me that chemistry can be so pretty. And I knew these would be good, since it was a city-sponsored event broadcast on live television. The downside to all this was that I was going to have to stake my claim to a small piece of concrete along the river several hours in advance if I was going to get a good spot. I really wanted to go, so I decided to brave what was certain to be a pretty stressful situation (for me at least) to see some awesome fireworks. So I bundled up and brought lots of provisions. A fully-charged ipod was a must, so that if it got too crazy I could plug in the headphones and lower my stress level. Also my e-reader, because books are a sure way to help me cope with a stressful, high-energy situation. Everyone around me might think I'm that weird girl at the New Year's Party with a book, but honestly I don't really care. I also brought snacks and a little champagne, of course!

I'm honestly very proud of how well I handled this first part of the night. I got to my spot by 8pm, was able to sit on the ground for the first couple of hours, but eventually it got so crowded that there wasn't room and I had to stand. I ended up using both my e-reader and ipod at different points, but I made it through without too much trouble. The fireworks were amazing and totally worth the four hour wait. When they were over, there was a mass exodus to the tube station nearby. It was bedlam. The closest thing I'd experienced was trying to get back to my hotel after Obama's inauguration in '09. I may have been 17 at the time, but I remember holding on to my teacher's hand that day as if my life depended on it. I was utterly terrified. This time I wasn't terrified, exactly. It's just me here in London, so I wasn't worried about losing anyone, and we were all going the same place. I was actually pretty ok for the first mile or so of walking (they closed down some of the stations, so we had to walk quite a ways to get to an open station). But right after we crossed Trafalgar Square, we got stuck.

As I said before, I'm not good with large groups of people. I'm especially not good with large groups of people all smooshed together like sardines, which is pretty much what happened next. Earlier on the Thames, everyone respected a certain amount of personal space. That all went out the window after we left the viewing areas. Here's what I've figured out after the fact: somebody collapsed or something just ahead of where we were. Apparently the police were trying to keep the area clear for the ambulance and stuff. The problem was that no one communicated any of this to the mass of people trying to get through. So pretty much what happened was a huge mass of people (at least 600, probably more) were stopped right outside Charing Cross station. There were so many of us that there was no way to move or breathe or anything. Here's the kicker; we were stuck like that for over an hour. About 20 minutes into this situation, I pretty much had a panic attack. At this point, I had been in large-group high energy situation for about four and a half hours, and now I was exhausted, my feet hurt, and I was pretty much being suffocated by people on all sides. I started to hyperventilate, and one lady near by figured out what was going on and got people to back off a bit (but not much because there wasn't room). At one point, I was literally kneeling on the ground with my head between my knees. I got myself under control eventually, and after about an hour and a half of being stuck there, they finally let us through.

Once I got walking and had some fresh air on my face, I was pretty much ok. I had to wait in a pretty crowded line once I got to the tube, but it was only for about thirty minutes, and not as crowded as the earlier situation. I finally made it back to the hostel around 3 or 3:30am. All in all, it wasn't really all that bad. I didn't get trampled, I made it home safe, and got a little story out of the whole thing. And honestly, those fireworks were totally worth it.